How to Get Rid of Toxic Relationships/Friendships
3 weeks ago
Toxic people are usually hurt because there is something bad that happened to them. It could be anything related to their family, love life or even a bad habit they are used to. Anyways, they decide not to take responsibility in order to fix and overcome their problem and play the victim role instead. I’m sorry to tell you that the upcoming steps will not be as easy as they seem because if it hadn’t been that hard, toxic people would just be normal people who we can get over easily. These steps will never be pleasing but keep reminding yourself of your worth and what you really deserve. The stronger your bond with that person is, the harder the solution gets. But remember that if you haven’t experienced such bad experience, you would never appreciate or experience the amazing feeling of being in a healthy relationship/friendship.
On a side note, a toxic person could be your partner, friend, best friend, or even a crush. It’s not only about relationships but it is about people who you really care for who can do you so much harm without even noticing.
There are some steps you can follow in order to get rid of a toxic person from your life completely. Stop the harm, don’t let it get to you.
1. Talk, argue, advice, repeat for a while then stop
When you find out that the person you deeply care for is going through hard times, you should talk to them in order to know what the problem is and why it is happening. You should give your advice to get them back on the right track one more time. We don’t give up easily as long as they are responding. When you see something bad happening, speak it and keep repeating. When you find no positive reactions to your advice, just stop. Realize that they already make up their mind and choose the way that comforts them no matter how harmful it is for them and you as well. You must realize at some point that no matter how much you keep talking, they are not listening. Also, please note that you can never change a person who sees nothing wrong about their own behaviors and if this happens, this will be temporary change and they will get back to being what they have become whenever a problem pops up because they just like that. They are more concerned by their own problems and what makes them happy. I’m sorry for telling you this; they just don’t care for you as they pretend and say.
2. Do no harm, but take no shit.
You have to believe in this sentence because if you think about it, you’ll realize that it is totally correct. I believe that you never did them any harm and you will never be one of their toxic routes they decided to go through. Don’t take their shit anymore and stop making it yours!
All they want is to be happy regardless of things they do to make them like that. All they want from you is to waste their time. They are not aware you’re wasting your own time and feelings on them. They are always hungry for your attention. Just ignore them. There is no compromising at this process. It is more like “take it or leave it”. When they don’t take your care and support seriously, just leave them. This is the most suitable time to set boundaries. Regardless of how far you decide to go, they will try dragging you to their lives using sentimental words like “I need your help” and “Why are you keeping a distance?” You should perceive that they are not in a problem. They are the big problem. Always remind yourself that you’re not obliged to sign up for taking their shit forever.
3. Get rid of the emotional mess they are causing all the way
Time is precious so please don’t waste it on the wrong person because you will eventually regret it so bad. The presence of a toxic person in your life will definitely cause you an emotional mess that you might not be able to tolerate. An unstable person has the ability to make your emotions and life unstable as well. You shouldn’t suffer from the consequences of the negative behavior adopted by a toxic person. Don’t let it get to you because it might keep affecting you badly even after they don’t exist in your life anymore. Think about how bad this could be.
4. Have the courage to stop when it is time to
A toxic person will keep telling you that you gave up easily on them and this is not what they expected from you but you don’t have to be manipulated by this kind of talk. It takes one decision for a person to change and a whole cycle of unstoppable givers to be dragged down by a toxic person as well. Staying away from harmful people will never be a weakness they can point at. I just hope you have the courage to stop when it is time to as they don’t actually believe they are hurting you.
5. Don’t let them control you or your feelings and find a healthy replacement
Once they feel you don’t care anymore, they will get back to you trying to manipulate you in different ways but you should not be fooled by these actions. You are not a tool for them to use in case they want to waste some time. Keep it to yourself as a reminder that you’re not taking their shit anymore but don’t say it out loud because you don’t need to be involved in this kind of arguments. Don’t waste time on thinking about them and work on yourself instead. Replace these toxic relationships/friendships with healthy ones that will not suck your feelings up!